The 10 Server Commandments (The Waiter Rap)

YoYo 😀

Been servin for years, people treat u like an animal
it’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
a step by step booklet for you to get
your tips on track, when these tables get sat
rule nombre uno: let every body know
you only get paid 2 13 an hour by law
so 10 percent tips aint gonna pay for shit
especially wen you got a kid or you gotta pay rent
number two: smile wen your tables are rude
dont u know u gotta kill em with kindness n silence
take it from you highness
I done squeezed every penny from these tables with my looks n charm
Number three: you can’t please everbody
some people are just quick to complain about shit
don’t let em ruin your mood or even worse your tip
just suck it up then go to the kitchen and vent
number four: know you heard this before
never get mad when your triple sat
number five: when a guest makes a joke you smile
I don’t care how corny or wack you better laugh
number six: if they’re only drinkin water its over
just get em the fuck out hurry up and take the order
seven: this rule is so underrated
everybody in the restaurant industry is racist
tables are judged by the color of their skin
or the size of their eyes I aint tellin lies
number eight: never freak out if you’re weeded
just ask one of your boys for help if you need it
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
after a long ass shift grab somethin to drink
cause the only way to keep your fuckin sanity
is gettin wasted with your server family
number ten to me is the most important
don’t ever lose sight of your fuckin goals man
if you get stuck in this industry your fucked
just keep chasin your dreams and don’t give up
follow these rules you’ll have enough cash to get by
grab drinks and get high just enough to survive
server life is no joke got you feelin so low
cause the truth is you either kiss ass or go broke
anyway let me do my side work and clean my section
oh shit I’m cut? time for celebration

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