You know you’re a crazy waiter when… (part 2)

  • you gave up dance lessons after 4 evenings because you were always called to work… please… please… please
  • you can’t hear please… please… please…. any more. Anyway, your cellphone is turned of at your days off
  • you know all the ‘can eat and can’t eat’-rules belonging to allergies, philosophies and and religions
  • you’re pouring the water at home also with the movement like you do with bottles of red wine to avoid stains
  • people at the McDonalds start talking to you for a menu advice (and the employees ask to translate for them because they don’t understand a word English, German, Italian or Spanish at all)
  • you judge restaurant workers in other restaurants with an 300-item check-list
  • you’re going to the university library for scientific research about (hospitality) (service) quality (when you want a CD-ROM, don’t hesitate)
  • you ask to the busboy (the person who is clearing and setting up the tables) your table number, so you can pay yourself at the central cashier)
  • you are jumping up when a bell sounds (which says there’s something to take in the kitchen)
  • you ask yourself at four a clock in the night after going out which wine is suitable for the cheesburger
  • You don’t say simply ‘yes’ but ‘oui chef oui’, or ‘ten four
  • your funniest stories start with: “Last night I had a table…” (*)
  • you favorite day to get hammered is Monday. (*)
  • you wear your uniform (including apron) to work. If you do you’re really NUTS;) (*)
  • you’re making stupid lists at 4 o clock in the night

(Part one is here | (*) Thanks to Greygoose |  image (c), used with permission)

You know you’re a crazy waiter when… (part 1)


  • you’re dreaming about tables, reservations, walkouts, and tips (see here for an explanation)
  • you can explain the buffet or take an order in six languages, but can’t chat about the weather in those languages
  • you’re looking to the other side of the table when you place your plate (used to synchronized serving)
  • you’re checking all those restaurantweblogs before you’re going to sleep at 4.00 am
  • you’re roommate is piling the plates (“much faster”) but you’re really gone much faster with the normal technique
  • you’re reading the mentality of people on the way they deal with servicepersonel – not only crazy waiters do, even CEO’s do 😉
  • you’re making the tables in the Harrods, LaFayette or other shops perfect and put the spoons in the right way
  • you have always your wineopener with you
  • you know all the restaurants of the country with one, two or three michelinstars by heart
  • you’re asking quickly a bottle of water when the others at the table want to ask for tapwater
  • you’re paying the bill of the restaurant with your creditcard (because you hate when they pay seperatly), your friends are amazed that you count their money that quickly and you wait for ages before the others without money pay you back
  • you’re putting secretly 10 euros in the checkfolder before leaving – because the other people on the table tip badly

(part two here)