You know you’re a crazy waiter when… (part 2)

  • you gave up dance lessons after 4 evenings because you were always called to work… please… please… please
  • you can’t hear please… please… please…. any more. Anyway, your cellphone is turned of at your days off
  • you know all the ‘can eat and can’t eat’-rules belonging to allergies, philosophies and and religions
  • you’re pouring the water at home also with the movement like you do with bottles of red wine to avoid stains
  • people at the McDonalds start talking to you for a menu advice (and the employees ask to translate for them because they don’t understand a word English, German, Italian or Spanish at all)
  • you judge restaurant workers in other restaurants with an 300-item check-list
  • you’re going to the university library for scientific research about (hospitality) (service) quality (when you want a CD-ROM, don’t hesitate)
  • you ask to the busboy (the person who is clearing and setting up the tables) your table number, so you can pay yourself at the central cashier)
  • you are jumping up when a bell sounds (which says there’s something to take in the kitchen)
  • you ask yourself at four a clock in the night after going out which wine is suitable for the cheesburger
  • You don’t say simply ‘yes’ but ‘oui chef oui’, or ‘ten four
  • your funniest stories start with: “Last night I had a table…” (*)
  • you favorite day to get hammered is Monday. (*)
  • you wear your uniform (including apron) to work. If you do you’re really NUTS;) (*)
  • you’re making stupid lists at 4 o clock in the night

(Part one is here | (*) Thanks to Greygoose |  image (c) vobes.com, used with permission)

Answering and Waiting In Vegas

Since I have an Asian face, have a Dutch nationality and work in France there are a lot of guests who want to know how that’s possible. Most of the times I answer but sometimes the guest wants to know more. In that case I’m grateful that I work at the place where I work, because there’s magic everywhere. Of course I’m not the only waiter who has to answer a lot of questions…

Let me start by saying that anyone who knows me knows that I never introduce myself to tables. I think most people don’t give a fuck what my name is and when they do want to know they can take the initiative and ask or simply read my name tag. The truth is that when people do know your name, they only use it to aggravate you by repeating it every single time they see you. Others only want to know your name so they can impatiently scream it from across the room instead of simply making eye contact like a normal human being would do. With that said, I should also let you know that when I dine out I don’t give a fuck what my server’s name is either. Not because I don’t care about them as a person but simply because I’m not dining out to make new friends – I have plenty.

Read the rest of this story and a lot of other nice stories at the blog of Waiting In Vegas.

(Foto: Eiffel Tower Restaurant Las Vegas by Motel George, CC NC-ND, the restaurant on the photo and Waiting in Vegas are not linked, for as far I know )

$ 34000 a night

Ty Warner PenthouseThirty-four thousand dollar is the price you’re paying for a night in the Ty Warner Penthouse at the 52th floor of Four Seasons New York. That is a lot of money and Four Seasons will give you also a lot for it in return. 400 square meters, a Bösendorfer piano, a Maybach with chauffeur etc. etc. Let your heart beat a bit faster while reading the description on the Four Seasons site. When you think it’s too expensive or the room is already booked, you can take a look in the Top Ten list of most expensive suites in the world. I hope they will take my Visa Classic card.. (via)

The sixth sick sheikh `s sixth sheep `s sick

A nice way to entertain your guests and make them crazy are tongue-twisters. Print them out on a nice card and offer a cup of coffee when they succeed!

Betty Botter bought a bit of butter
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter makes better batter.
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Making Betty Botter’s bitter batter better.

The 1st International Collection of Tongue Twisters has a lot of examples in various languages. One try? The Crazy CrazyWaiter is waiting on a crazy waiting guest!

Art in My Coffee

Although I worked for a coffeeroaster, I can’t make a decent cappuccino. (luckily for this we have a full automatic machine at work) Those who are able to do it, can find a new challenge in their life. See this video!

You can also find a lot of inspiration at Art in My Coffee. Here you’ll find hundreds of photos of Latte Art!

(photo: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 by Made2Serve)

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McBye!

Everybody knows that you shouldn’t eat food or beverage meant for the clients nor should give away to friend, families or colleagues in their break or off. Last year a girl working at McDonalds in Holland is fired for giving a slice of cheese to her colleague. The colleague ordered and paid a normal hamburger, but at the last moment she asked the poor girl for a slice of cheese. Thus the burger became a cheeseburger which is a little bit more expensive. And that was considered as theft. McBye! (and the girl asking for the slice of cheese wasn’t punished at all)

Ridiculous of course and luckily also in the opinion of the court. McDonalds is order to pay 5 months of pay (the duration of her contract)

CrazyBlender

You might have seen them in your workplace, the BlendTec blenders. They are rather expensive, but they are made of good quality and they do they work very well! See the videos in which the less expensive blenders of their range are used and find out. The question is: Will It Blend?

And there’s still hope, when your lightbulb is broken!


More videos on their Youtube channel. Don’t try it at home!

How to get those lovely women in your section

Whether it concerns lovely ladies, a very famous person or well-tipping people, sometimes you see someone or a group entering the restaurant in the corner of your eyes and you think:’I want that table’. Normally you have to wait to see if you’re luckily to have it. But you’re the master of your destiny! Today I read a small trick to get them at your section. It only works with free seating of course, otherwise you have to take care that you’re good friends with the hostess 😉

It’s very, very easy. You take a towel, you clean an empty table (another time), you put up the salt, pepper and other items in line and walk away from the table in a lively way (when greeting the clients with a smile or making friendly eye contact)

At this way, it’s a natural reaction for the clients to take that table. Just what you wanted! Good luck!

(via)

Kiva! Loans that change lifes

As person but also as the crazy waiter I love to add value in the life of others. At home to the friends around me, at my work for my guests and.. in the world for those who need it.

Kiva makes it possible for me to lend relative small amounts of money in developing countries. Although there are some exceptions, the focus in my portfolio are women (always the hardest for them to find money) in the restaurant business (what else?) in South America (because it’s in the developing phase where there’s place for the restaurants and cafés – not scientifically proved but a feeling). It really feels good do be able to help other people to fulfil their dream!

The numbers (listed on Wikipedia) are impressive: As of December 25, 2009, Kiva has distributed $110,671,610 in loans from 631,345 lenders. A total of 157,207 loans have been funded. The average loan size is $401.66. Its current repayment rate is 98.13%. (*).

My numbers are nothing related to the whole thing. But I hope it can add a little bit in the life of others! You can also change lifes!

The Butterfly Circus

Of course, sometimes we’re almost like circus artists, but that’s not why I posted this film. I know it has nothing to do with our work, but nevertheless I wanted to share it with you because it has everything to do with life in general and it’s simply beautiful.

Although I didn’t do it always like that, I start to believe that you are the only key to success. Life is what you make of it. This very inspirational film is all about that. You can only be a happy and successful crazy waiter when you believe in yourself and live life in a positive way!

During his travels a showman of a circus discovers a man without limbs at a carnival sideshow. This man is travelling along with the circus and becomes driven to hope against everything he has ever believed.

The Butterfly Circus – HD from The Butterfly Circus on Vimeo.

You can also buy the DVD at Amazon.com!
(via)

Worthless Waiter!

I’m a worthless Waiter because:

  • without any doubt I put two cups of tea (€ 5,40 each) on the bill when somebody asks for a glass of hot water (twice of course) to use her own top of the bill tea
  • I say almost ‘shut up’ to the Big Brother (8 years old) when the Lovely Little Sister (4 years old) doesn’t dare to anwer when I ask how old she is and what she wants to drink
  • I understand and speak 4, 5 or even 6 languages (depending how you define ‘speak’) but no one perfect, even my mother tongue is getting worse
  • people have to wait when four tables want to pay and four tables arrive at the same moment. And I’m not even having small talk in this situation!
  • I forget the little presents which we have to give to the kids
  • I don’t clear the table when such called travelling-around-people sign with there finger to their empty plate  to say they have finished eating without saying a word. Pff, I’m understanding at least six languages, you bet that they speak one of it
  • I don’t cover the table with napkins, sweets and roses when there’s a famous person or a royal family member (nevertheless unfindable at Wikipedia) is coming… everybody is VIP!
  • I neglect people without any pain when they are wavering or shout Hi!.
  • I’m whistling and singing always in the restaurant. And believe me, I don’t have the X-factor!
  • I always forget to ask whether the guests want an aperitif at the beginning and coffee at the end. Especially when it concerns mystery guests 🙂 Another 2 points lost…
  • And last but not least: I don’t say to English and American guests that my fabulous service is “included” when they tip me very, very well. It’s written in all the travel guides, isn’t it? isn’t it?

But I hope all the other things and sides of me are not that bad….