I'm a worthless Waiter because:

• without any doubt I put two cups of tea (€ 5,40 each) on the bill when somebody asks for a glass of hot water (twice of course) to use her own top of the bill tea
• I say almost 'shut up' to the Big Brother (8 years old) when the Lovely Little Sister (4 years old) doesn't dare to anwer when I ask how old she is and what she wants to drink
• I understand and speak 4, 5 or even 6 languages (depending how you define 'speak') but no one perfect, even my mother tongue is getting worse
• people have to wait when four tables want to pay and four tables arrive at the same moment. And I'm not even having small talk in this situation!
• I forget the little presents which we have to give to the kids
• I don't clear the table when such called travelling-around-people sign with there finger to their empty plate  to say they have finished eating without saying a word. Pff, I'm understanding at least six languages, you bet that they speak one of it
• I don't cover the table with napkins, sweets and roses when there's a famous person or a royal family member (nevertheless unfindable at Wikipedia) is coming... everybody is VIP!
• I neglect people without any pain when they are wavering or shout Hi!.
• I'm whistling and singing always in the restaurant. And believe me, I don't have the X-factor!
• I always forget to ask whether the guests want an aperitif at the beginning and coffee at the end. Especially when it concerns mystery guests Another 2 points lost...
• And last but not least: I don't say to English and American guests that my fabulous service is "included" when they tip me very, very well. It's written in all the travel guides, isn't it? isn't it?

But I hope all the other things and sides of me are not that bad....