Remarkable CrazyWaiter

Your CrazyWaiter is one of the 60 persons (out of >5.000 people with guest contacts) who are cited the most by guests as remarkable employee!

Guests of the hotels can leave a ticket with the name of a remarkable employee and apparently I deserved to be honoured. (little scret: the one with the biggest smile:)) Not bad of course for somebody without any official education in the hotellerie or whatever. I’m really content with it and hope to continue and improve at this way!

25+ reasons to work in a restaurant or hotel

It’s not the easiest job in the world, but it’s the best job!

  • You have weekend when others work
  • All the shops are open if you’re off, it’s calm when you do (fun)shopping and you won’t ask yourself on Sundays how to spend your day
  • You’re not depressive at Sunday evening
  • You know the tricks so you won’t be tricked in the hotels/restaurants
  • You have advantages in all the hotels and/or restaurants of the group/chain you’re working for
  • You will be welcomed as a VIP in all the restaurants/hotels once they know your job
  • You can have a good position and a very good salary in little time without studying long time
  • Yes, you spend Christmas and New Years day at work, but at least you spend it with happy people
  • You meet fabulous people everywhere you work and the working atmosphere is like nowhere else in the world
  • You learn new things every day, thanks to the different clients with different nationalities, jobs etc.
  • You spend your time in a great place and not locked in an open office
  • You’re holidays are exact at the right moment to go to Maladives, en Thaïland or to Mexico for the best price
  • When you’re going to Disneyland, you’ll never wait for attractions 🙂
  • You know how to choose the best products at the market
  • There’s work for you any time, any place
  • You know how to invite people at your home, set up a table, cook, decorate and even the smallest rendez vous with friends ends with a buffet or extensive meal
  • You’re small talking regularly with celebrities other know only from gossip magazines. You’re even relaxed while talking to them. Georges Clooney? Not even impressed!
  • You’re fed and housed, and you work that hard thus you won’t have time to spend your salary
  • Tips are liquid money so not subject to taxes
  • Wherever you go in the world, there’ll always be an ex-collegue who will host you and will show you the city and the best places
  • Your boss has become a friend who offers chocolate, christmas- and birthdaypresents
  • You’re eating foie gras and drinking the (rests) of the best champagnes at parties (or after the parties) and are friends with the supplier so you buy these at the best prices when giving a party yourself
  • When you work in the afternoon, you never have to set-up an alarm-clock
  • Whether with or without a fixed partner: your love-life is never ever boring
  • No need for expensive Assimil courses: you’re learning languages free thanks to guests and colleagues.
  • You never have to buy silverware or plates because you’ll get the old ones when the restaurants has a make-over
  • Ok, you make a lot of hours, but the fantastic smile of your guests at the end of their meal or stay makes you realize why you’re there!

(Translated and adapted from the facebookgroup ‘25 bonnes raisons de choisir l’hôtellerie-restauration !‘)


Tonight a Spanish fourtop at table 22. Of course I play el camerero loco with dancing, singing etc. At a certain moment I say “wapa, wapaaa!!!”*) to the four year old girl when she twirls around in her princess dress. She looks into my eyes and says with a lovely little voice “wapo tu!“. 🙂

*) Wapa = guapa = beautiful

Happy Crazy Waiters Wisdom

We are going to start a new religion for Happy Crazy Waiters. Not only for crazy waiters, everybody will be happy when living like us. Besides the love for our clients, we have the following “rules”:

  • Go for perfection. Even if you don’t succeed (to be expected) you’ll be far better than the others.
  • If it belongs to you it comes (back) to you, if it doesn’t it never did (or will). “It” can refer to persons, things or untouchables
  • What you’ll give is what you’ll get.
  • The best strength in life is to know, hide and/or compensate your weaknesses.
  • Know the difference between what you can change (more than you think, do it!) and what you can’t change (accept it).
  • Be aware and acknowledge that also you make errors and mistakes. Take full responsibility for it.
  • Time opens all the doors for those who can wait. When a door closes, another one will open. If you only look at the closed one(s) you won’t see the open door(s) Chances and changes will come. Problems disappear sometimes also with time. Pantha rei. Everything changes. Always and everywhere. So be it.
  • In every mess can and will grow a sunflower.
  • What is the gain if you loose yourself?

Doesn’t sound that complicated, doesn’t it? It’s a bit of NLP, bit of Eastern wisdom and a lot of compassion!

P.S. Before taking us too seriously: don’t! We don’t neither. But at least keep it in mind

You really moved me…

Sometimes I really love my (little) guests for the time they are in my station. Today at table 102 we had a French/Spanish family with a girl who didn’t speak and seemed to have a mental disability or something like that (not sure about this). Normally children are already uncomplicated, but these kids are really uncomplicated. They live today, enjoy what happens and are very direct, even if they can’t communicate like we do.

I played a bit with the girl, fed her, cleaned her hands with the little wipes we have etc. At the end I was remaking another table and she was helping me, in her way. The most of my other colleagues would send her straight away, but I told her:’Here the princesses don’t work, only the princes do.’ She was so sweet…

When paying the lady said:’You’re adorable, you really moved me’. I thought it was a compliment like so many, until I looked up into her wet eyes…. O my gosh, sometimes I really love my work….

Are Paris waiters rude… or is it you?

I’m not a Parisien waiter (I live in a kingdom on his own), butI hear a lot of people saying that French waiters are arrogant, rude etc. I don’t agree with it, because the way people act is always a reaction on you. Karma you know ! It helps also that I speak French. This is a very interesting article about this topic.

In matters of French culture and customs, the Paris waiter has, fairly or unfairly, often been singled out as the poster child for the rude-French stereotype. But what you may think of as rude may be nothing but poorly communicated cultural differences on both sides.

Read futher at French culture and customs: Are Paris waiters rude or is it you?.
Read also In Defense of the Notoriously Arrogant French Waiter

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(Foto by Gutter / CC BY-SA 2.0)

You know you’re a crazy waiter when… (part 2)

  • you gave up dance lessons after 4 evenings because you were always called to work… please… please… please
  • you can’t hear please… please… please…. any more. Anyway, your cellphone is turned of at your days off
  • you know all the ‘can eat and can’t eat’-rules belonging to allergies, philosophies and and religions
  • you’re pouring the water at home also with the movement like you do with bottles of red wine to avoid stains
  • people at the McDonalds start talking to you for a menu advice (and the employees ask to translate for them because they don’t understand a word English, German, Italian or Spanish at all)
  • you judge restaurant workers in other restaurants with an 300-item check-list
  • you’re going to the university library for scientific research about (hospitality) (service) quality (when you want a CD-ROM, don’t hesitate)
  • you ask to the busboy (the person who is clearing and setting up the tables) your table number, so you can pay yourself at the central cashier)
  • you are jumping up when a bell sounds (which says there’s something to take in the kitchen)
  • you ask yourself at four a clock in the night after going out which wine is suitable for the cheesburger
  • You don’t say simply ‘yes’ but ‘oui chef oui’, or ‘ten four
  • your funniest stories start with: “Last night I had a table…” (*)
  • you favorite day to get hammered is Monday. (*)
  • you wear your uniform (including apron) to work. If you do you’re really NUTS;) (*)
  • you’re making stupid lists at 4 o clock in the night

(Part one is here | (*) Thanks to Greygoose |  image (c), used with permission)

Answering and Waiting In Vegas

Since I have an Asian face, have a Dutch nationality and work in France there are a lot of guests who want to know how that’s possible. Most of the times I answer but sometimes the guest wants to know more. In that case I’m grateful that I work at the place where I work, because there’s magic everywhere. Of course I’m not the only waiter who has to answer a lot of questions…

Let me start by saying that anyone who knows me knows that I never introduce myself to tables. I think most people don’t give a fuck what my name is and when they do want to know they can take the initiative and ask or simply read my name tag. The truth is that when people do know your name, they only use it to aggravate you by repeating it every single time they see you. Others only want to know your name so they can impatiently scream it from across the room instead of simply making eye contact like a normal human being would do. With that said, I should also let you know that when I dine out I don’t give a fuck what my server’s name is either. Not because I don’t care about them as a person but simply because I’m not dining out to make new friends – I have plenty.

Read the rest of this story and a lot of other nice stories at the blog of Waiting In Vegas.

(Foto: Eiffel Tower Restaurant Las Vegas by Motel George, CC NC-ND, the restaurant on the photo and Waiting in Vegas are not linked, for as far I know )


Everybody knows that you shouldn’t eat food or beverage meant for the clients nor should give away to friend, families or colleagues in their break or off. Last year a girl working at McDonalds in Holland is fired for giving a slice of cheese to her colleague. The colleague ordered and paid a normal hamburger, but at the last moment she asked the poor girl for a slice of cheese. Thus the burger became a cheeseburger which is a little bit more expensive. And that was considered as theft. McBye! (and the girl asking for the slice of cheese wasn’t punished at all)

Ridiculous of course and luckily also in the opinion of the court. McDonalds is order to pay 5 months of pay (the duration of her contract)

The Butterfly Circus

Of course, sometimes we’re almost like circus artists, but that’s not why I posted this film. I know it has nothing to do with our work, but nevertheless I wanted to share it with you because it has everything to do with life in general and it’s simply beautiful.

Although I didn’t do it always like that, I start to believe that you are the only key to success. Life is what you make of it. This very inspirational film is all about that. You can only be a happy and successful crazy waiter when you believe in yourself and live life in a positive way!

During his travels a showman of a circus discovers a man without limbs at a carnival sideshow. This man is travelling along with the circus and becomes driven to hope against everything he has ever believed.

The Butterfly Circus – HD from The Butterfly Circus on Vimeo.

You can also buy the DVD at!

Worthless Waiter!

I’m a worthless Waiter because:

  • without any doubt I put two cups of tea (€ 5,40 each) on the bill when somebody asks for a glass of hot water (twice of course) to use her own top of the bill tea
  • I say almost ‘shut up’ to the Big Brother (8 years old) when the Lovely Little Sister (4 years old) doesn’t dare to anwer when I ask how old she is and what she wants to drink
  • I understand and speak 4, 5 or even 6 languages (depending how you define ‘speak’) but no one perfect, even my mother tongue is getting worse
  • people have to wait when four tables want to pay and four tables arrive at the same moment. And I’m not even having small talk in this situation!
  • I forget the little presents which we have to give to the kids
  • I don’t clear the table when such called travelling-around-people sign with there finger to their empty plate  to say they have finished eating without saying a word. Pff, I’m understanding at least six languages, you bet that they speak one of it
  • I don’t cover the table with napkins, sweets and roses when there’s a famous person or a royal family member (nevertheless unfindable at Wikipedia) is coming… everybody is VIP!
  • I neglect people without any pain when they are wavering or shout Hi!.
  • I’m whistling and singing always in the restaurant. And believe me, I don’t have the X-factor!
  • I always forget to ask whether the guests want an aperitif at the beginning and coffee at the end. Especially when it concerns mystery guests 🙂 Another 2 points lost…
  • And last but not least: I don’t say to English and American guests that my fabulous service is “included” when they tip me very, very well. It’s written in all the travel guides, isn’t it? isn’t it?

But I hope all the other things and sides of me are not that bad….

Can I have a jug of water? NO!

Now I’m going to share you my frustration of the day: guests who are eating in your restaurant and when you’re ready to take the drink orders (all the food is on a buffet in ‘my’ restaurant) the *only* thing they are asking is a jug of tapwater. No wine, no sodas, not a bottle of water but only a jug of tapwater. Aarrghh!!! I hate this phrase! Sometimes I feel my eyes rolling and my chest moving of stress and in my mind are always some horrible scenarios uprising I’ll never do with the water but really want to do. (Use your fantasy ;)) Sometimes it has to be visible to the clients but it’s just a reflex, can do nothing about it.

My micros and later the bill shows CARAF D’EAU EUR 0.00 and that hurts because I have to polish the glasses, I have to walk to the bar and back, I have to smile and I have to pour the water in the glasses.. all for nothing! I know, they pay a lot for the food, tapwater is better for the environment and the water quality is average to good (I’m used to Dutch water which is far better than in the place where I live and work, especially in summertime) but it still drives me nuts working for nothing. (read: earning nothing for the boss – yes, I do care about his earnings)

Maybe I shouldn’t put ice in it (the cold masks the bad taste) or ask the clients “you’re really sure you want to take this?” with a face like they are going to be very sick. But I’m afraid it won’t help and hey, it’s just my job. I have to deal with it, frustration or not. And tomorrow it will be:”Can I have a jug of water”? “Yes, of course sir”. But you’ll know better 🙂


Last week there was a five year old boy with a Nike t-shirt with the Swoosh!-text in our restaurant. I say the word and make an swoosh-like-armmovement at the same time. The boy runs back to his table and my colleague heard him saying to his mother:”He’s too funny!!” “Who you’re talking about, I don’t see any character?” “No no, mamma, the waiter”. LOLLLL…

Happy 2010 to all the fellow Crazy Waiters! May it be a year full of happiness, love, friendship and delighted guests!

The secret pleasure of Four Seasons

Every waiter knows the secret pleasure of a waiter: hearing something that is not meant for you and taking action on it. Once on a hot day I heard a guest on 3 meters distant saying to a friend “Oh, I would die for a glass of water'”. Several seconds later I stood there with it. The water had cost € 1,50 but her face expression was priceless! (and of course you pretend not to see that reaction;))

Four Seasons, a hotel chain with luxury hotels (in Paris they have the fabulous George V) is also listening to her guests even while they’re not really talking to them. On TwitterA guy complained that the music in his room was very dull. I’m sure his face would be priceless when he came back to his room where the housekeeping left a bottle of wine and a kind letter with a list of all the radiostations attached.

Keep the secret pleasure alive! (and enjoy it….)

I want to have you…

Lessson French number one: You have to know that “I want to see you” (Je veux te voir) in French sounds almost like “I want to have you”. (Je veux t’avoir).

I have a very nice and cute looking female teamleader and I needed a void because I made a mistake (even I do ;)), so I asked ‘Je veux te voir‘. With lesson 1 above and a terrible accent (even worse than the video below) in mind you’ll guess what everybody understood:’je veux t’avoir‘. This caused a big hilarity of course 🙂 and the worst part was at that moment that a guest was standing by. But an image of my lovely teamleader would be priceless!

But the same guest asks me some moments later whether I have kids. “No, I’m still searching for a lovely princess.” The guest very adrem:”Apparently you found her”. Mmm… didn’t I work at a place where dreams become reality? 🙂

I can speak French, nevertheless I don’t mind letting the funky music sticking our bodies :p

You know you’re a crazy waiter when… (part 1)


  • you’re dreaming about tables, reservations, walkouts, and tips (see here for an explanation)
  • you can explain the buffet or take an order in six languages, but can’t chat about the weather in those languages
  • you’re looking to the other side of the table when you place your plate (used to synchronized serving)
  • you’re checking all those restaurantweblogs before you’re going to sleep at 4.00 am
  • you’re roommate is piling the plates (“much faster”) but you’re really gone much faster with the normal technique
  • you’re reading the mentality of people on the way they deal with servicepersonel – not only crazy waiters do, even CEO’s do 😉
  • you’re making the tables in the Harrods, LaFayette or other shops perfect and put the spoons in the right way
  • you have always your wineopener with you
  • you know all the restaurants of the country with one, two or three michelinstars by heart
  • you’re asking quickly a bottle of water when the others at the table want to ask for tapwater
  • you’re paying the bill of the restaurant with your creditcard (because you hate when they pay seperatly), your friends are amazed that you count their money that quickly and you wait for ages before the others without money pay you back
  • you’re putting secretly 10 euros in the checkfolder before leaving – because the other people on the table tip badly

(part two here)